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[Otto] Hiya.
[door buzzing]
[toilet flushing]
That's the toilet.
-[Otto] Hi. -[man] Hey, how are you going?
[Otto] All right.
You taking the socks and shoes off?
Yes, I always do.
Okay.
-[Otto] Ooh. -[Pete] It's good, isn't it?
[relaxed sigh]
Okay, I'm ready when you are.
[chuckles]
-That's my thumbs up. -Very good.
-Cool. -Ah, right, Otto.
Yes.
Um... [clicks tongue]
We need you to say some lines to go
right at the beginning of the film.
-Yes. -Right? So, it's gonna go
right at the beginning of the documentary.
-Yeah. -And it is going to explain
-who you are. -Who I am.
Right. And what the documentary is about.
-Yep. -Yeah? So--
And what my character is too.
Well, your character is you in the documentary, but yeah.
-I am. -But we can explore that.
[Pete] Shall we start off by reading the lines
and then maybe we can change them if you want to?
-[Otto] I can try myself. -[Pete] Yeah?
So, do you want to go for it?
My name is Otto Baxter and I've been filmed...
by other people since I was a baby.
[bright music]
[Otto]
Hello, come in, come in.
I do get very cheeky sometimes.
Can I have a dance, my darling?
It was fucking good.
[Bruce] It was fucking good, wasn't it?
[Otto]
Now that I'm getting older,
Pete and Bruce...
are really fucking annoying.
-[laughter] -[Otto hums cheekily]
I'm not sure that's exactly what's written down.
-[chuckles] -[Pete] "Pete and Bruce
need to understand me properly."
[Otto] Now I'm getting older,
Pete and Bruce need to understand me properly,
because they are a big part of my life.
When it comes to it, we're going to have to help you
make really important decisions.
I'll take the risk.
[Bruce chuckles] You'll take the risk on us?
Yeah, I would.
And so, if we're helping you to make, you know,
choices about what, how you want your life to be,
then I think we need to understand
what you really feel about your life.
[Pete] Are we boring you, Otto?
-Mm-mm. -[Pete chuckles]
[Otto] I love films.
I love talking about them with Pete and Bruce,
so they have asked me to write and direct
a drama about my life.
My story told by me.
[light music]
[Martin Scorsese]Making a movie
When you do your work,
uh, are you doing it for other people,
what other people are gonna say about you,
or are you gonna do it for yourself?
[indistinct chatter]
[man]
in the way of academic material.
Reading may be slow and labored.
[Steven Spielberg]I make movies
I can play out my life and my fantasy through film.
-
[reporter]
[man]
[Stanley Kubrick]
been privileged to direct a film
knows that although it can be
like trying to write
in a bumper car in an amusement park.
there are not many joys in life that can equal the feeling.
[crowd cheering and applauding]
Hello, everybody.
[Otto] I want you to sit back and enjoy
[all cheering and applauding]
[whistling]
[soft creaking]
[phone dial tone beeping]
[Otto snoring]
[Otto on voicemail]
[answering machine beeps]
[Bruce over phone]
-
[calm music]
[car door closes]
[Pete] I bet you he hasn't even got out of bed yet.
[Bruce] Oh, my word. [chuckles]
[Bruce] Terrifying.
-[hums] -[Bruce chuckles]
[Pete] You're like a, sort of, uh...
like an annoying, sort of, wasp.
[imitates monster growling]
[Pete] Okay. So... just imagine you're in a film.
And you're setting the scene for us,
'cause this is what you're doing now,
you're writing and directing something.
-Yep. I'm a director. -Yeah.
[hums] Telling you what to do now.
So... and you've got to stay on topic.
-You, shut up. -Yeah.
And you, make me a bacon sandwich.
[chuckles]
I can see what this is gonna be like.
[Otto humming]
Stay... staying on topic. [chuckles]
"Stay on topic."
[Pete] So, let's... I was thinking maybe we could,
I mean, feel free to just chuck...
I think we should just brainstorm some ideas, shall we?
Yeah.
If you had to think of, like, a few memorable, sort of,
moments or things that have happened to you.
-Yes. -[hums]
From the day you were born to today.
-Yes. -[Otto hums]
So, let's start with your...
so, what's your first memory?
My first memory, I'm being picked up from school.
-Oh, really? -Yes.
So you would have been, what, how old do you reckon?
I think I was...
...19 or 16. [hums]
Your first memory was when you were 16?
I think I was two.
-Two, okay. -I think school's quite...
school's quite a good... school's quite a good...
[Bruce]
-
[Bruce] Is that true?
-It is. -[Bruce] Yeah.
Often, a lot of what we talked about
was about films, and, uh, music...
-Yeah. -...and girls.
-You have talked about girls. -Yeah, top five, or top tens.
-Yeah, yeah, yeah. -Whatever.
[Bruce]
some of those challenging things
[Otto grunts]
Got it.
[blows air]
[Otto hums]
[gentle piano music]
The story of my life.
Bloody hell.
[Otto] Adam Ward.
That's actually me.
[Pete] Was that... was that your name when you were born?
Yeah.
-[Pete] Cute pictures, Otto. -[Otto hums]
[gentle piano music continues]
[Otto] "Here is Otto, his mummy, Alex."
She just gave me away.
[Pete] Why do you think she couldn't look after you?
The thing is I've got Down Syndrome.
[Otto] There's Lucy.
My real mum is Lucy.
She wanted me.
She came to my rescue.
"Thank you for giving my son the chance of a future."
[indistinct chatter]
[Otto]I lived with my mum Lucy,
I like the crooked little house bit.
[Pete] Shall we say that your brothers have got
Down Syndrome?
Yes. They've all got Down Syndrome.
[Bruce]
[Otto]
Well, she adopted four of you, didn't she?
She did.
[Richard Keys]
[reporter]
I feel that, you know, taking these children,
especially as babies, and then bringing them up
like the rest of us in our culture
is just so exciting, because the sky is the limit.
You know, who knows what's gonna happen?
You know, who knows how they're gonna turn out?
[Lucy]
[Lucy chuckles]
And my grandmother said,
you know, that no man would ever look at me
because I thought I wanted to kidnap
some people from the hospital I used to go and volunteer in.
[gentle music]
at the Royal Earlswood Hospital.
And I loved and love people with Down Syndrome.
In my growing up for 17 years or 18 years,
until I went to this hospital, you know,
I'd never really met anybody with Down Syndrome.
It was like a race apart.
You know, it was like a different...
you know, you just didn't mix with them.
[beeping]
Excuse me, we're doing a program about Mongol children.
Would you like to tell me what your immediate thoughts are?
Um... Oh, I think it's a little bit frightening,
to be quite honest.
You know, it's something I've always dreaded.
Well, they look distant, sort of, don't they?
They look vacant, don't they?
-That's it. -They've got, uh...
There's no concentration there, is there?
[reporter] But you think they should...
attend normal schools where possible?
No.
I think it's the look of them.
It, sort of, you know, puts your guard up straight away
and you're that little bit frightened of how to treat them.
You don't treat them with the intelligence
that they deserve to be treated with.
-[Lucy]
[gentle music]
[hums]
I hate them all.
[Lucy]
[Pete] That's the sort of process really
that Bruce and I have been through, isn't it?
-It is. -[Pete] We came in here
-professionally, right? -Yes.
[Pete] We were paid to come and make a documentary.
One, two...
[Pete]
[toy gun rattling]
-[growls] -[Pete yelps softly]
[groans]
["Happy Birthday" tune playing]
[playing off-key]
You're rubbish with this.
-[chuckling] -[Otto humming]
[playing off-key]
[chuckling continues]
Get off, boo!
Rubbish playing.
[Otto]
I was born in 1983.
1974.
Mine's different. [hums]
Yeah. When's yours?
1897.
-1897. Yeah. -1897.
I thought you were, yeah, explains that gray in the beard.
-It's the old-- -The same year
after the Backstreet Boys.
[laughter]
This type of music.
They were wonderful, weren't they?
[laughter continues]
They were the premier Victorian boy band,
-weren't they? -Yep.
[laughter]
[Bruce] So, do we start the scene in the room
where your mum is strapped to a table?
[Otto] Yeah. That's Alex.
[Pete] That's Alex.
Why do you think it's important that she's strapped to a table?
Um... I think she's a proper mad person.
Right, so you want her to be, sort of,
either looking a bit deranged or acting a bit...
Acting, like, over the top.
Ah, yes, so you want her really, sort of, going,
like, thrashing around and...
[gargles]
[Pete] Like the girl in
Like Regan in
We need a patient, doctor, and a nurse.
A patient. So, this is for, sort of, casting.
So, we need a doctor.
-A doctor. -And a nurse.
And a nurse.
I need their faces to look menacing.
"Don't worry, it won't hurt a bit."
"Well, yeah, a lot."
-[chuckles] -Oh, okay.
[Pete] And as the baby's head comes out,
do we hear the baby crying?
Yes, we do. [hums]
It's gonna be having scars all over.
Its eyes like a golf ball.
[Pete] Eyes like golf balls? [chuckles]
Why do you think... so, why...
why are you interested in... this being a horror scene,
and you being born as a monster?
That's what people always call me.
They always call me monster.
[soft music]
[Lucy] Should put something on your...
on your eyelids. Close your eyes.
Got something.
Yeah.
[chuckles]
The messier, the better, I think.
[Otto hums]
Stick those in, look.
[chuckles]
[Pete] So, this is a place where we could film
-your birth scene. -[Otto] Ooh!
Whoa.
Quite nice.
[Pete] Do you think he sees himself
as someone to be, like, deep down,
seeing himself as someone to be afraid of, then?
I... I think it's been quite a difficult journey for Otto,
because I think it's the two...
[screaming on screen]
-[explosion on screen] -[people screaming on screen]
[Pete] What did you like about that?
Um, I liked the great big explosions. [hums]
[Pete] So, you like the explosions. Expensive.
-Oh, my word. -Oh, my goodness me.
[woman] We're gonna put a new skin on him.
[mechanical whirring]
-[man] I think, like-- -Reminds me of Oliver Cromwell.
Oliver Cromwell? [laughs]
That is definitely the most out there, sort of,
connection you've made so far, and I like it. Um...
I'm not even sure I know what Oliver Cromwell looks like.
[Pete] The spirit of Oliver Cromwell, rather than...
[Lucy]
-[mechanical whirring] -[laughter]
That's terrifying.
We need some... couple of zombies like that as well.
[Lucy]
♪ There are creatures in a cage
[Otto] I dunno why people are staring at us.
-[Lucy] Do they? -Why do they always stare?
[Lucy] Just come this way.
Otto's got to get something.
[Lucy]And why do you get cross
[Otto]
-[Lucy]
Do you know why they stare at you?
No.
Well, it's probably because you have Down Syndrome.
I have.
[Lucy] You know, sometimes when you get excited
about things?
-[Otto] Uh-huh. -[Lucy] You go...
[Lucy hums]
Always do that. [chuckles]
[Lucy] You do, and everybody teases you about it, don't they?
It does.
But you see, do you know anybody else who does that?
-No. -Well, that's part of
-the Down Syndrome. -[hums]
[Lucy] There you are, you're doing it now.
-Eh? -[Lucy chuckles]
[humming]
That's right. So, Otto, if I was on a bus with you
and I suddenly went... [hums]
You'd look fucking weird.
-[laughs] -[hums]
So... So, can you see why people might look at you?
-Yes. -Yes?
[humming continues]
[gentle piano music]
Which way?
[Pete] We're going all the way to the set.
[Lucy]I have absolutely no idea
-[Otto humming] -[Lorenzo] Morning.
-Hey. How's it going? -[Pete] Hello, you all right?
-You well? -[Pete] Yeah.
[Lorenzo] Excited for this one?
[Otto] Oh, yes. One of my favorite scenes.
[Lucy]
and what he feels about things,
[razor whirring]
[Otto] How is my actors? [hums]
Good, Otto, how are you?
[Pete laughing]
Really?
[laughter]
[Pete] "You two, fight to the death."
[man] Well, you wanna get on in this business.
[laughter continues]
-I'm a comedian. -Yeah.
-The caped crusaders! -[chuckles]
[Otto] You'll see the baby.
[MyAnna] Yeah.
-You'll be going completely mad. -Yeah.
"I don't want to look after this baby.
He's got Down Syndrome, let's give him away."
I don't want to... I don't wanna give him away.
We're forcing ya. [hums]
But that's... but that's Alex.
-[Otto] Yes. -Yeah.
That's my other mum, called Alex.
-Yeah. -My dad's called Martin.
-Martin? -[Otto] Yes.
They haven't sent me a present or card or nothing.
-[MyAnna] Ever? -[Otto] Ever at all. [hums]
They've just left me, they think I'm shit.
[hums]
Their loss, eh?
Yeah. [hums]
So, when would you... so, basically... but here,
so you've got her in your script,
you've got her really scared.
-My revenge. [hums] -Yeah. [chuckles]
[MyAnna] But she's just too terrified
-to be able to deal with... -Yeah, deal with.
Deal with the baby. And for her, she's...
she can't help but see this baby as a monster,
and she doesn't know what to do with it.
Yep.
I'm so glad to be doing this, this is gonna be fun.
-[Otto] It is. -It'll be fun.
[indistinct chatter]
[Otto] Ah, look at that. [chuckles]
Perfect.
Nice bit of splatter. [hums]
The walls.
-[woman] Amazing. -[Otto] That's quite nice.
[indistinct chatter]
[Paul] Don't worry, my dear.
This isn't going to hurt a little.
Then you get close and I go, "No, no, no, no,
please, please, not me."
Don't worry, my dear.
This isn't going to hurt a little.
This is going to hurt a lot.
-[evil laugh] -[screaming, crying]
[hums] Great.
That is pretty good, isn't it?
[Otto] I love... I love this scene.
[laughter]
[Bruce] Even though you say so yourself.
Just an idea,
'cause they're already in the light here,
how about we do
a reveal into her... into here first?
[Otto] Reveal of the doctor's face?
-[Lorenzo] Yeah. -[hums]
-[Otto] Evil face. -Okay.
And the clutching, playing with the instruments.
[Paul] And it's all for... to make her more...
-more nervous? -To make her uncomfortable.
Unsettle her, yeah.
Play with the instruments, and you can hover around her.
Okay. So, can we... if we, if I take...
particularly, like, the cutters, and then put them back,
-so I'm looking for the right... -[Otto] Yeah. The right
-department. -Okay. Okay.
[woman 1] Okay, quiet please, everybody.
Tuck the roll away.
[clapboard clacks]
[man] Set.
[Otto] Okay, action.
[screaming in pain]
Fuck! Get this thing out!
[screaming continues]
Fuck!
[screams]
[drumming music building]
[woman 2] Cut!
Otto?
[drumming stops]
Give us a kissy. [hums]
I don't wanna kiss you.
I really don't wanna kiss you. [chuckles]
All right, let's crack on.
[Bruce] We're gonna have to do things like this,
where we have to send emails to try and persuade people
to take part in the film.
There's gonna be quite a lot of that.
[Otto] Take off the salad bottom, then.
Yeah, but... well, I'm gonna take that off.
So, I can take that?
I can take that off, "Bruce tastes like salad.
Bruce's bottom tastes like salad."
-[Bruce] So, I'll just put... -[Otto] Yeah.
Right, and Pete the sausage nose?
-I wonder whether that could... -[Otto] That'd be fine.
[Bruce] That can also go in the delete bin?
-Yes. -[Bruce] Right.
[Bruce laughs] See, that's looking better already.
[Otto] "How are you, Alex?"
-Oh, "How are you?" -[keyboard clacking]
Good, okay, now we're getting somewhere.
"How are you, Alex?"
"I haven't seen you about ten years ago."
-[humming] -[Bruce] "I haven't seen you
-for about ten years?" -Yeah.
Do you wanna tell her about this film you're making?
-Yeah. -All right, so how, uh,
so how would you describe that?
Uh, we're making a drama-horror.
-[Bruce] About your life story. -[Otto] About my life story.
[Bruce] You want to research your life story a bit,
and the way to do that is possibly to go
and see the people who have been important people.
Been filming with.
Do you remember the last time you saw her?
[Otto] I did.
Where was it?
[Otto] Back in Reigate, in Surrey.
-At your house? -Yeah.
[Alex] Hello.
[Otto] Alex.
[Otto hums]
-[Otto] Hello, Mum. -[Alex] Hello.
[Alex]
-[Lucy] Hello. -Lucy.
[Alex]
-I have. [hums] -[Lucy] Look!
-It's my mum. [hums] -[Lucy] Yes!
I thought you were gonna be bigger than me.
-I am now. -
And everyone's gonna have different answers,
different reasons.
But our answer was "No."
"No, we can't cope with that."
-[Otto] I love my mum. -[Alex] Aw.
[Otto humming]
You gonna show me round, then?
-I am. -I wanna see your bedroom.
'Course. It's upstairs. [hums]
Aren't you tidy?
[Otto hums]
That's my fart thing.
[chuckles] Your fart... fart thing?
[Otto] Press it.
-[flatulence over device] -[Otto hums happily, giggles]
-[flatulence over device] -[Otto hums happily]
With a normal child, if that's okay to say...
with a normal child, you hope they... they meet
a boyfriend or a girlfriend, um, get married, have a family,
fly the nest, and that's the cycle of life.
But from what I've seen,
Down Syndromes rely on their parents.
And a lot of really nice...
elderly people have still got their Downs.
I just could not do that.
-[Otto] That's you. -[Alex] Oh, God,
I think I've got better looking, actually.
[Alex]
-You okay? -Sorry, can I... sorry.
[Otto] Okay, Mum.
I don't like that word, because straight away,
you know, that conjures up that I've done something wrong,
and I don't feel I've done anything wrong.
But you know, when Otto hugs me and says,
"Oh, my mummy Alex is here and I love her,
I've really missed you,"
I do get a little pang of... I don't know what it is,
sadness, I think.
"This will win..."
-Get off, you fucking... -[Otto giggles]
"Win. You can either email me back
on this address."
[Pete] "Hope to hear from you soon?"
[Otto] "Buh-bye, Alex."
[Bruce] "Bye-bye...
Alex."
"PS."
"Love you, Mum."
[Bruce] Do you wanna put "Love you, Mum"?
-Yeah. -[Bruce] Do you love her?
'Course. Yep. [grunts]
I mean, 'cause...
she's not really been in your life, has she?
[Bruce] Do you... do you feel like you love her
like a son loves a mother?
-Yeah. -[Bruce] Really?
Yes.
[gentle piano music]
[Lucy]
"I don't think I could ever have smiled at him."
And cut.
That was great.
[Otto] We're gonna have a song about the monster.
Can we?
She's a beautiful monster.
Wow. I do quite like the idea of a song.
Devil's playground.
The devil's playground?
[all singing]
[indistinct chatter]
[MyAnna singing]
♪ But I don't want him around ♪
Looking good.
It's good, isn't it? And so I think
we'll move, as they move, we'll move this way.
Roll sound.
[monster song playing]
[cast singing]
[Lucy]
It will have done an immense for his self-esteem.
I think that will have done an awful lot.
[evil laughter]
[Otto] And... cut.
That was a wrap.
-[woman] That's a wrap! -[cast and crew applauding]
Thanks, Otto.
[Lorenzo] It's been a pleasure. Thank you so much.
Oh, that was so lovely. What a treat, really.
-[Paul] Well done. -[Otto hums]
Fantastic. Wonderful.
Can't wait to see it.
-Me too. -You've been a great director.
-[evil laugh] -[camera shutters clicking]
[gentle music]
[dial tone]
[inaudible chatter]
[Otto on voicemail]
[answering machine beeps]
[Pete over phone]
[Otto]After I finished filming
my producer Daisy got tired
with these pillocks.
[laughter]
It doesn't say that!
-It says, "Tried--" -It says, "Tried everywhere
to get more money to carry on."
I mean, the other thing might've been true as well, but...
[laughs]
[Bruce] It felt like we'd made a strong start,
or you had made a strong start with that birth scene.
Very strong start.
[Bruce] And then it all... then it all ground to a halt.
[Otto imitates crash]
I tried really hard, Otto.
Everyone said no.
But in classic Otto Baxter style,
you bounced back and did something else.
-[Otto] I did. -Yeah.
So, shall we talk lots about your time as a drag queen?
-Yes. -Or shall we move on?
Let's talk about it.
-Okay. -Okay.
[Otto] Right then. [hums]
This is my drag museum.
[Otto] Pretty good, aren't they?
[Bruce] There's you with Greyson Perry.
No, no, don't do that, don't do that!
Is that you winning Alternative Miss Wilderness?
[Otto] Yeah. [hums]
It's pretty exciting to win.
That's pretty cool.
It's got a nice, little inflatable crown.
[Bruce] Are you getting much action out of it?
[Otto] I actually am, actually.
-[Bruce] Really? -[Otto] Yeah.
I'm attraction, I am.
[Bruce] Well, I know you're the sort of, uh...
[hums]
...you're right in the spotlight there.
You must've... you must've been, uh...
You must've been propositioned a few times.
I have. [burps]
[Bruce] Anything come out of it?
[burps]
Thanks.
Okay. Shall we move on from the drag queen stuff
and get back to the film?
Yes.
[gentle piano music]
-
[Daisy]
-
[kids chatting in background]
-
[laughs]
Oi! Mowgli, get off your daddy!
[Otto]
[Bruce] Your dream, or your drama?
Drama.
[Bruce] Your drama is your dream.
-It is. -What did you actually do
during lockdown? PlayStation?
-Yeah. -Porn?
Yeah.
Uh, eating?
Yeah. Masturbate.
Okay. Then the next one's a bit more serious, Otto.
[Otto] That's fine, I like serious.
Okay. I'm not sure you liked this.
Then, around that time, something else happened.
[inhales deeply, clears throat]
Something really bad.
My birth mum died.
[crowd applauding]
[woman on laptop]
[Otto]
[priest on laptop]
[Otto]
[priest]
[breathes deeply, hums]
I just... [hums]
...never say anything.
I just completely cried.
[sighs deeply, humming]
[Bruce] 'Cause the last time I spoke to you about your mum,
uh, before I found out that she'd died...
Yeah.
[Bruce] You were quite angry with her, you know,
in the scenes that we filmed before.
-Yes. -[Bruce] And when we were
writing the birth scene, you seemed quite cross.
I was. [hums]
[sighs, hums]
They never sent me a... a...
a card or a birthday present, or anything.
They'd forgotten about me.
[Bruce] Now that she's dead, are you not angry anymore?
Yeah.
[hums]
Feel quite...
I'm feeling quite guilty.
Very guilty.
[indistinct chatter]
[Otto hums]
[Bruce] Has this been in your loft?
[Otto hums] Yep.
That was the towel you came with.
[Otto hums]
And this was a snowsuit with these boots.
Little boots.
My little blanky. [hums]
"Hold your head up high and be a man, my son.
"And God bless you."
[Bruce] Who's it from?
Who do you think?
It's Lucy.
[Lucy] No, it's not. It's from Alex.
-This is from Alex. -Your mum.
[Otto] This is from Alex.
[Lucy] This the patron saint of travelers, to keep you safe.
Well, you got it the day you came to me,
the day... New Year's Eve...
was the day I went to pick you up.
[Otto hums]
[Bruce] Does it make you feel a bit differently about them,
now that you remember that she got you that present?
Yes.
[Bruce] In what way?
[hums] Quite, uh... heartbroken.
H... heartbroken.
[hums]
[somber music]
I don't think they did ever give you a birthday
or Christmas present.
But can I just say
that sometimes...
because people have been adopted,
the birth parents, they think that the day of the birth
is not a thing particularly to be celebrated,
because they then lost... their people.
[Lucy] This was the most important day, yes?
That your mother, when you came to live with me,
she sent this best wishes for you,
and you're probably supposed to wear it always.
-Yes? -[sobbing softly]
[Lucy] To keep you safe.
[somber music continues]
You've lived all your life here,
and you've got three brothers.
-[Otto] Yes. -Yes?
And two of them have had presents,
-birthday and Christmas... -[Otto] Yes.
[Lucy]
and you haven't said anything.
[Lucy] And that is very sad for you, Otto.
Why didn't you say anything?
Too painful.
No.
Daisy actually reminds me of Claudia Winkleman.
Claudia Winkleman? She's got, sort of, a...
hasn't quite got the fringe, has she?
And she's less orange.
I think she has got less orange.
[Pete] So, we need to explain...
that after... what, how many years?
-Four years? -Four years.
Four years of nobody caring, nobody giving any money,
no one thinking you directing a film was a good idea.
-Yeah. -But things changed.
So, we've written some lines. See what you think.
Yep.
-So on this side. -[hiccups]
[laughter]
-[burps] -[Bruce wheezing]
In the four years
since my first shoot... [hums]
...the world had changed a bit.
The audiences wanted to hear stories from disabled people,
told by disabled people.
I was in demand!
Producers have ignored
disabled writers,
commissioners haven't taken
the opportunity to tell
disabled stories.
The problem is we do not empower disabled talent,
and when we do...
we do not value the stories they tell.
TV has failed disabled people
utterly and totally,
and that has to change.
[chuckles]
[indistinct chatter]
[Otto] Hi. [hums]
-Morning, Boss. -[Otto] Hi. Got this one on.
-How are you, Otto? -[Bruce] Wanted. Dead or alive.
It's Bon Jovi's song.
-[Bruce] I like Bon Jovi. -[Irene] I know that song.
[Bruce] Well, I used to like Bon Jovi.
-And I got his music. [hums] -[Bruce] Yeah.
[gentle piano music]
[indistinct chatter]
[Bruce] So, this next scene's actually about your adoption,
and you've decided you want to set it
in a place called the Devil's Playground.
[Otto] There is lots of people queuing.
A sign, "bring your freaks."
-[both] "Bring your freaks?" -[excited hum]
[Bruce]
[Otto]
The Devil's Playground.
[Bruce] I could sort of see how this might work.
-The Devil's Playground. -Yeah.
Right, that... so that's a location which sounds
quite... quite an Otto sort of place.
[Bruce] Are they physically taking this monster baby
to the Devil's Playground?
-Is that where you're going? -Yes.
[Bruce] And what happens to you then?
Mm. Until the Devil comes for me.
The Demon Master.
[Pete] But the person who actually takes you is Lucy.
[Bruce] It's Lucy, isn't it?
"Oh, I'm here. I'm here to rescue you."
Is that what she's saying?
-Yeah. -"I'm here."
-[Pete] "Child." -"I'm here."
"I've come to rescue you from the Devil."
[indistinct chatter]
[Rebecca] What's your best side?
-[Otto] Any one. -[Rebecca chuckles]
I don't know what mine is, actually.
Actually, you can turn round that way.
-Okay. -Your bum showing.
-Oh, right, okay. -[giggles]
[Pete]
[photographer] Hello. All right, Otto, straight to me.
[Bruce] Right, Otto, the camera.
[Pete]You got on well with her.
[photographer] That's nice.
[Pete] And then there'll be a five or six-year-old boy
So, that's the three people in the scene.
So, really, Lucy is probably gonna look at you--
We can't use my brother in the film.
Well, your brother's 40 now, so...
Yeah, it might be difficult for him to play that role.
-His beard's about this long. -[laughs]
Who's gonna play the role as James?
[Pete] So, you're an actor as well, Mikey?
-Yes. -[Pete] We're super excited
-to have you here. -I know.
[Otto] How old is he?
-How old are you? -Ten. Ten.
-[Otto] Ten. -[Bruce] There you go.
[Pete] Double figures. I like the T-shirt as well.
-Yeah. -Oh, he's off.
[Pete] He's off. There you go. All right.
[Otto hums] I'm liking this movie.
[Pete] Yeah, you enjoyed today?
[Otto] I have.
-You like Rebecca, don't you? -[Otto] Of course.
-All right, Bruce? -[Bruce] Yeah, I'm good, Otto.
-How am I looking? -[Otto hums] Great.
[Bruce] Good. [laughs]
[Otto] Let's take a look at your face, Bruce.
Well, I haven't done the make-up yet.
-[Otto] Wow. -Good hair though, innit?
[Otto] It's a new Bryan Adams here.
[laughs]
[Otto] Oh, who's this tarty woman?
Oh, it's my mum. [soft chuckle]
[Otto hums, giggles]
We're going for a take, Otto.
-[Otto] We are. -Yeah. Okay.
[Otto] Calling all extras. Calling all extras.
Are you all excited?
[extras cheering]
And the crew in the back, are you ready?
[crew cheering]
[Otto] I want everyone, come on.
Are you ready?
[cast and crew cheering]
[Irene] Nice and quiet for rehearsal, please.
-Are you ready? -I'm ready.
-[Irene] Okay, rehearsing. -Yep.
[Irene] Background, action, and...
-And... action. -[Irene] Action.
[Paul] Ladies and gentlemen...
[light piano music]
[Lucy] "Adam only weighed 4 pounds 13 ounces at birth
and has Down Syndrome."
[actors screaming, booing]
[Lucy] "Adam left hospital aged one month.
He's the second child of his parents' marriage.
They feel unable to make a life commitment to Adam."
[Paul] No! No, he's my monster baby!
-[Otto] And... cut. -[indistinct chatter]
We got it.
[Lucy] "And wish him to have the love and security
of adoptive parents."
[Rebecca]
[gasps]
-"I shall call you Satan." -Cut.
Yeah. Well, Otto, Satan,
-yeah, interchangeable. -Whatever, means the same thing.
He has the creepy name for a baby.
Well, that's Otto.
Oi!
[photographer] Right, here we go.
[Lucy]
[photographer] ...couple more, looking straight to me.
[Lucy] And then everything worked out,
so I had the good fortune to be bringing him home.
But the next day, he was asleep in a travel cot,
and then I remember... just, sort of, lying down
in the sitting room, thinking, you know, it was all quiet,
and I was thinking,
"What am I doing with somebody else's baby?"
You know, it was very weird.
You know, when I had James, it wasn't the same,
because he was a ready-formed child,
and I'd, you know, looked after children
and was used to children. But it was,
"What am I doing with this child?
This child actually shouldn't be with me.
It's not natural, it's not right."
And so it was, yeah, it was, sort of, sadness,
and just thinking, "What..."
yeah, "What am I doing with this child?"
[Lucy]
[gentle music]
[Lucy]
-[Lucy]James can have that one.
[giggling]
[Lucy]
Knock, knock, knock on wood.
Right, boy... do I keep him in his seat?
[Lucy]
You can try to scare them, one by one.
Okay.
[Lucy]
When you say your line, "Oh, poor..."
Poor little monster boy.
I want you to go down, smack on the table,
with your hand.
[Paul] Okay.
-[Irene] Happy, Otto? -I am.
Shall we do one more?
[man] Set.
[Irene] Background action.
-And when you're ready. -And... action.
[Paul] Poor little monster boy.
[slams on table]
The lights are on, but there's nobody home.
Here's the deal, you hideous little moron.
Answer this equation correctly and I'll let you go.
-[Otto] And... cut. -[Irene] And we cut there.
[Pete]
[Pete] What's he all about?
Mysterious smoke.
[Pete] I'm gonna be honest, I don't fully understand
-the whole Master thing. -[Bruce chuckles]
-[Pete] So, shall we start-- -[Bruce] Come on, Pete,
get on board with it, get on board!
I like it as a concept, I just don't understand it.
-"As a concept." -[chuckles]
[Bruce] What do you think The Master represents?
He's, like, there, overpowering me.
Ah, so people telling you what to do,
-you don't like, do you? -No. [hums]
Well, let's... I think The Master
deserves its own page.
We should explore this.
There's some good thoughts with The Master.
Right, The Master.
How are we gonna describe The Master?
[Pete] Dunno, this... we're not gonna describe him, Otto.
I am.
He actually wears, like, the same thing as that picture.
[Bruce] So, like, a, sort of, um...
a kind of Victorian gentleman, really.
He's a Victorian gentleman.
-Okay. -He wears the...
not these boots, but black and shiny shoes,
with a silver... with a gold buckle.
-[Bruce] Yeah, yeah. -With a skull.
-Okay. -A gold buckle with a skull?
Yeah.
[Pete] Is The Master someone who represents
all of the people that you feel have tried to...
-treat you like a child? -Yeah.
[Pete] All of these baddies in your life,
we pour all of them into this character, The Master.
[Otto] Yeah.
And... action.
[Reuben] Excuse me, Mr. McManus.
[snarls]
[Reuben breathing heavily]
[Reuben] You... you're not Mr. McManus!
It's The Master!
And... cut.
-[Irene] And we cut there. -[man] That was great.
Great, Paul. Really good.
[Lorenzo] Surprise out and then come here to talk,
-or talk from standing up? -[Otto hums]
Yeah.
-[woman] Sorry, guys. -[man] That's nice.
-Yeah? And then the dialogue? -[man] Yeah.
And the dialogue, what I'm going to do?
[Otto]
[Bruce]
[Otto]
Finally!
-[Otto] Mr. J. -[Jamie] Hello, Otto.
-How's it going? -[Otto humming]
Long time no see.
[Bruce]
Willy slapping.
-Right. -Oh, fine, okay.
-Right. -And that's what he did to me.
Right, describe willy slapping to me.
I don't think, you know--
I was sitting down on the floor watching telly.
He grabbed his willy out and he willy slapped me
-right in the ear. -[chuckles]
That was the first time you met him?
-Yes. -That's the first thing he did?
Yes, he did.
That set the tone for the relationship, didn't it?
-Do you remember this? -[gurgling]
[laughs]
-Mad. -It is. So--
Oh! Man boobs.
[laughs]
[Otto] "Oh, my God, he killed Kenny. You bastard."
[Jamie] Oh, blimey, look at all that.
Wow. Look at all this.
[Pete] Now, Otto, I don't know how you feel about this,
Otto is imagining you, in this film,
as a ventriloquist dummy, a bit like that,
-but with ginger hair, right? -[laughs]
-Yes. -He's quite...
he's quite a cheeky character.
-Think, uh... -Chucky.
-Jack the lad. -Cross between Chucky and that.
-Yeah. -Yeah.
[Pete]
Oh, definitely the snowball with the bus driver.
He left the window open, and I...
What did he do when it hit him?
It hit him right in the face.
[laughter]
[Jamie]
[Bruce]
[Jamie]
[Bruce] Dangerous.
Otto just goes... and then I remember the...
[grunts]
...like that, and then he goes, he slammed the brakes on,
[Bruce and Pete laughing]
[Paul] Wouldn't do that for anyone else.
[laughter]
-[gentle music] -[indistinct chatter]
[Lucy]
-[Otto grunts] -[chuckles]
[Lucy]
Hello, everyone. [chuckles]
[Lucy]
[Otto] Uh, a disco fever shirt.
[Lucy] A girl pulling shirt, I think, that one.
A girl pulling...
[Lucy] When you asked Otto what he's doing,
he said nothing about going down to the seaside,
nothing about anything else, just about pulling girls,
so that's... it is the most important thing.
And it is the most important thing for most...
16-year-old blokes, isn't it?
Your first step will be, is asking a girl, and ask her,
"Would you like to dance?"
And your second step is, after the dance is finished,
one dance and one music has finished,
uh, you go and let her sit down for five, ten minutes,
you go off and have a drink, or go in the arcades
or whatever for five, ten minutes,
go back and ask her for another dance.
I say, "Can I have a dance, my darling?"
[Lucy]
such a long-lasting relationship
You know, it proves... it proves
[gentle music continues]
[Jamie] Blimey, who are these lovely ladies?
[laughs]
-I'm the lucky one, here. -[Jamie] Yeah.
So, you've got a woman you're married to.
I am, yes.
[Jamie] We kind of knew each other from school.
Remember last time I was here?
My dad committed suicide, do you remember? He died.
-[Otto] What's he done? -He committed suicide.
-[groans] -Yeah.
-Not pretty nice, is it? -Do you remember when I went off
a bit of the rails, didn't I?
And I had a bit of a drink problem.
[hums] Oh, yeah?
-I had a bit of a drink problem. -Like a beer.
-Yeah, lots of beers. -[hums]
And I bumped into her one night
when I was in there drinking. We just got talking away.
-Oh, yeah? -Yeah, and one thing
leads to another, like they usually do.
-Yes. -And then... Hello. Hello.
Can you smell my doggies?
[Jamie] She kind of turned my life around
and she did also give me the option, if I want, if...
this wants to be "serious" serious,
it's either me choosing her or cutting the drink.
If it wasn't for her now, I wouldn't know
where I'd be now.
You know Jamie's found someone that he loves?
-Yeah. -And he's married to?
Is that something you would like?
Yes.
[woman] Aw. [laughs]
[Pete]
[Otto]
Hello.
[Pete]
Uh... Sarah Marquis.
-Yeah. -I used to have her.
[laughter]
[Otto]
[soft guitar music]
[Lucy]
for Otto to have a relationship,
[indistinct chatter]
Right, one more kiss and hug goodbye.
[Otto hums]
[carer] Right, come on, Lyds. Bye, Otto, thanks for having us.
[Otto] You too.
[Lucy]
and so that's...
you know, that's not how I brought my children up.
-Hi, I'm Bruce, Stephanie. -Good to meet you.
-I've not met you before. -No, you haven't. Hello.
[Pete] I'm Pete. Very nice to meet you.
-We're Otto's friends. -This is Reuben.
-Oh, hello Reuben. -Heya.
-Glad to meet you. -[Pete] I've heard an awful lot
-about you though, Stephanie. -Oh, thank you. Yeah.
[Pete] Yeah. So, are you Otto's girlfriend?
-No, fiancé. -[Pete] Fiancé.
Sorry. Sorry. Fiancé, yeah.
Yeah.
-In real life. -Yeah, in real life.
-I like it. [hums] -Yep.
[chuckles]
You, stop it.
No, you stop it.
-Stop it. -You stop it.
[Lucy]Well, I think he's quite,
[indistinct chatter]
[Lucy]
[indistinct chatter]
[man] Just drop this in through here.
Yeah, that's fine.
[Pete] What does this role... does this role
represent anything, or is it literally
just a beautiful woman?
It's just a beautiful woman.
-[Pete] Are you sure? -Yes.
-[casting staff] This is Pete. -Hello.
-Hi, Pete. -[Pete]
-away from the monster baby. -Yeah.
[Pete] What's that supposed to mean?
They used to call me a monster,
"Stay away from me."
[Pete] Yeah, and have-- girls do that in real life?
They normally do that in real life.
-[Pete] Really? -And your personal life.
[Pete] In your personal life, girls have done that?
Yeah.
[Pete] What, when you've tried it on with them,
-and they've... -Yeah.
-[Pete] What have they said? -[groans in disgust]
"Stop it. Go away, you Downser."
It's in a great honor and can you... buy you a drink?
[casting staff] She recoils.
[scoffs] Get away from me.
You're not chatting me up.
You're...
You're a monster.
[Otto hums]
[Otto] I am here.
[Anna] Good.
You definitely look like Amanda Holden, look like.
[indistinct chatter]
-[Otto] I got it. -[Ellie] Maybe a little bit.
[Anna] Turning.
You're doing a really good job, Anna.
[Anna] Thank you.
I might buy you a drink sometime.
[Anna chuckles] On the wrap party.
-Yeah. -There you go.
I might buy you a drink.
[Anna] Set?
-Yeah. -[Anna] You say action?
Are you ready?
-Action. -[Anna] Action.
Where's my director girlfriend?
[Pete] Why don't we just... oh, careful,
'cause we don't know where that actually goes.
[Bruce] No, we're not supposed to do--
[Pete] Otto, Otto, Otto.
What do you think this is, a rocking horse?
-Um, how you feeling? -[Otto] Fine.
[Pete] Yeah? Did Daisy have a word with you?
-Yeah. -[Pete] Yeah?
-Do... -Not too much flirting.
Yeah. Remember I said earlier as well...
Yeah, I know that.
[Pete] But you can't... so you can't...
call people sexy, all right?
-Yep. -Yeah? But we just--
-Yep. -Yeah?
-Is that all right? -Yep.
Because you want everyone to feel comfortable
that they can come and stand near you
and chat with you and that you're not gonna...
Just do that at the wrap party.
Not at the wrap party either.
Yeah. I don't think any of these people
that we're working with are people that you would ever...
You belong to Jesus.
No, but honestly, Otto, I'm being serious.
Like, any of these people who are on the set,
that we're working with, men, women, uh...
none of them are people that we're gonna have...
relationships with.
Because they're work colleagues.
You know, it's like a work situation,
and it feels uncomfortable for people
if you're suggesting that they might be your girlfriend,
or all of that sort of stuff.
-[Otto] Mm-hm. -[Pete] 'Cause everyone
who's working for you should feel comfortable.
Do you feel sick or something?
-[Pete] Do I feel sick? -Yeah.
[Pete] I feel all right. Why do you think I feel sick?
-Do you? -[Bruce] No, I don't, no.
We're in this room right now.
[Pete] Right, but we think that, Otto, you're doing really well
with the directing, it's brilliant, yeah?
-[Otto] Everything's fine. -[Pete] And now... and actually,
I think you're probably gonna be really good now
with... not, sort of,
flirting all the time, aren't you?
Because I know you mean it, like, to be fun,
but not everyone feels that way.
-Yes. -[Pete] Yeah?
Cool. Yeah?
-Shake and bake? Good. -[hums]
Okay, let's go for it.
Let's go back to the fucking filmmaking.
Let's go. Filming. You can drink your tea.
[Otto] Tea.
[indistinct chatter]
[Otto grunting]
[woman] Stop, please.
[Otto] Stop it.
[Otto grunting]
[hums] Behave!
[Otto chuckles]
-Looking gorgeous. -Hello. That's my job.
You're both gorgeous. [hums]
-[Stephanie] Hmm? -You're both gorgeous.
I'm saying, I think we should dress like this
-full-time, really. -Mm.
-Yeah. Very glamorous. -Yes, madame.
-[Otto hums] -[chuckles]
Don't worry, I look after her.
I know.
Very special, you are.
Oh, thank you. It's a pleasure to be here.
-How are you finding it today? -Yeah.
-Is it going well? -I'm looking forward.
-Yeah. -Me and you on the final scene.
On this final scene, yep, that's true.
-[barks] -With my different outfit on.
-Yeah. -[deep exhale]
Is it, um... is it all going on schedule today?
-Yeah. -[actress] Oh, good. Nice.
I'm looking forward to seeing you at the fine...
the last scene.
-[actress] Yeah. -[Otto] It's me and you.
And everybody else around, isn't it?
[assistant] I'm so sorry, you're needed back on set.
[Otto] I need to do my directing.
See you later.
[gentle music]
[Bruce] No sex talk, yeah?
'Cause that makes people feel a bit uncomfortable.
-We're just friends, really. -[man] Ah.
We're nothing else.
♪ The flowers by the town wall ♪
♪ Them betting shops depressed ♪
♪ The stock clerk is drinking ♪
And cut.
[Otto] And... action.
♪ In this lonesome dead end town
[Reuben] Mom, no! Say something!
I love you!
[music fades]
-[Paul] Come on, come on! -[Reuben coughing]
[Paul] Stop sniveling, you little shit!
You're mine now, boy!
And I promise you a life of abject misery!
[evil laugh]
Sorry about killing your mother,
but it's all character-building stuff.
-[Bruce]
[Bruce]
[Otto]
[Bruce] But really, I think in this film,
it'd be interesting to get a sense from you
seriously thinking about what your life would be like
if Lucy wasn't here.
They want me to go to live the mad asylum.
Is that what you think, that they would prefer...
that they think you'd be better off
living... [clears throat]
...in something that's, like, an asylum
-for Down Syndrome people? -Yes.
I get very suspicious.
Do you sometimes feel like people are making
decisions about your life without you being involved
-in those decisions? -Yep.
[Pete] Does that worry you?
It does.
[Bruce]
-
Do with a baseball bat. [hums]
[Otto] I would. [hums]
[Lucy] The place that they would put you
is supported living houses.
So, it's a house, say, for four people,
and then four people share the house,
and they each have a bedroom, and they share the sitting room,
they share the kitchen, yeah?
We applied to make sure that you had some people
who were more important,
-[Otto]
"No, no, no, you can't do that,"
we could then say, "Yes, he does."
So, the Court of Protection have given you some deputies.
-[Otto] Deputies? -[Lucy] There are two
in this room at the moment.
That's Pete and Bruce.
[Pete] Oh, nearly.
[Lucy]Well, thank you everybody
and it is very nice that my sons
Uh... so, I've done this. I did this last night.
Ta-da!
Which is, um... there are two,
um... so, this is... so, that's me, and this is...
when they give birth to a child
"What's gonna happen when I'm not here?"
And I thought, "I'm just not going to look at it.
I'm just... I'm not interested."
Which is why it's a bit of a shock now when it's,
like, I haven't actually thought about this at all.
Well, I have, but, you know,
it's just that I'm now 150, you know,
and I'm... It's gonna happen.
So, anyway, but, but yeah, I absolutely deliberately
[indistinct chatter]
[Lucy]So, it really, you know,
[Pete]
[Otto] Yes.
Do you know what that actually means?
No. [hums]
When it comes to it, we're gonna have to help you
make really important decisions.
Like... like how you spend the rest of your life,
where you live, you know,
what you do with medical issues if you get unwell.
-Yep. -[Pete] 'Cause one day,
Lucy's not gonna be around anymore.
-Nope. -[Pete] And it's gonna be
the three of us making those decisions.
So, it's a big responsibility that one day,
we're gonna have to help you make decisions
about things like where you live.
-I'll take the risk. -[Bruce chuckles]
[Bruce] You'll take the risk on us?
Yeah, I would.
[Pete] Before we did that writing session,
where you told us that if Lucy died, that the...
that social services, the, sort of, the state
might send you away and put you in a mad asylum,
-that's what you said to us. -Yep.
And that actually you really don't want that,
you want to stay in your house.
-[Otto] Yeah. [hums] -Yeah?
Until... until we had that conversation,
you'd never expressed that to us before.
And now I know if something does happen to Lucy
that you get to stay in your house.
Yes.
[Bruce]
without including you in those decisions,
we can include in this scene.
And this asylum, that represents, for you,
the kind of place that social services have, sort of,
said, "Well, Otto shouldn't be living in the house,
he should be living in..."
In the mad asylum.
[Bruce] An asylum, you call it, yeah.
Mad.
And action.
[Otto]
[Pete]
-It is quite difficult. -[Pete] Yeah.
They never get the message.
[Paul] Deep down, you know the truth, boy.
[pensive music]
I have studied your kind.
[Paul]
Oh, poor, stupid little monster.
[father]
[evil laughter]
[snarls, screams]
[snarls]
[father]
[MyAnna]
[Paul]You've made your choice.
-[evil laughter] -[crying]
[Paul] Fucking cry! [voice echoing]
[male character]
[soft music]
Power, control.
"Power". These are words--
-Control. -"Control".
[Otto hums]
[Pete] And these are the ultimate goals
of the character, right?
This is what you want to get in the end?
Yeah.
[Rebecca]
[Paul]
[Rebecca]
[Paul]
[narrator]Otto was transforming
Fine. That's good
-for me as well. -Yeah?
[Paul]
I'm taking the control.
-Set. -[evil laugh]
Quite nervous about this.
-[Paul]
[father]
[Paul]
[evil laughter]
[Otto hums]
[in deep voice] I'm the fucking master now.
[cast and crew cheering and applauding]
[gentle music]
[Pete] How did that feel?
Oh, fucking smashing. [giggles]
[Lucy]
a complete and utter validation
Oh, it feels fucking good. [giggles]
[Lucy]
[Pete] Otto, I don't think I've seen you
-that excited before. -[hums]
[Otto] Like a proper wrestler.
What made you so excited? Was it smashing
or was it, like, the power?
The power! [hums]
[gentle music continues]
-[crowd applauding] -[whistling]
Hello, everybody. [hums]
[Otto] I want you to sit back and enjoy
[all cheering and applauding]
[whistling]
[narrator]
Do you fancy a shot of absinthe,
Well, make yourself comfortable,
[Lucy]
[Lucy] This is Mary Campbell,
who was a particularly good friend of mine.
I met her at the clubs,
and then I used to take her back to her ward.
[pensive music]
I was going on foreign holidays, I was going skiing, you know,
like a, you know, a young child.
[somber music]
You know, this one here, look, you know, what is there to do?
You know, Otto...
has become a role model,
uh, because he could so easily be that person.
You know, so I look... yeah, I see these,
these... there's no...
it is only circumstance that makes a difference
between the eagle here and Otto.
People, all these people,
der-der, der-der, der-der, der-der.
All these people could be...
doing all sorts of other things,
they could be...
if they'd given... been given the chance.
[somber music continues]
Did you know you said that you think people
look at you and think you're an idiot?
Once they've been through this whole process
of watching your film, seeing this documentary...
seeing how... good
-a director you are... -See how I've been.
See how you've been, what would you...
how would you like their opinion to have changed?
[Otto] I want the people to look and say,
"We can definitely hire him...
as a...
a male stripper."
[laughs]
"We can invite him to the party."
[laughs]
So, it's just... this is just a calling card
-for your male stripping career? -Yeah.
[bright, gentle music]
♪ As wily as a fox on the slip ♪
♪ There goes a wonderful storm ♪